Movie Review: Taika Waititi’s ‘Next Goal Wins’ Is a Sweet, Frothy Diversion but No Knee Slide

 This image released by Searchlight Pictures shows David Fane, left, and Michael Fassbender in a scene from "Next Goal Wins." (Searchlight Pictures via AP)
This image released by Searchlight Pictures shows David Fane, left, and Michael Fassbender in a scene from "Next Goal Wins." (Searchlight Pictures via AP)
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Movie Review: Taika Waititi’s ‘Next Goal Wins’ Is a Sweet, Frothy Diversion but No Knee Slide

 This image released by Searchlight Pictures shows David Fane, left, and Michael Fassbender in a scene from "Next Goal Wins." (Searchlight Pictures via AP)
This image released by Searchlight Pictures shows David Fane, left, and Michael Fassbender in a scene from "Next Goal Wins." (Searchlight Pictures via AP)

In "Next Goal Wins," a soccer coach comes from far away to lead a hapless group of athletes. He's a fish-out-of-water type, ill-suited for the job, but rises to the occasion and everyone feels good at the end. Wait, you're thinking, that's the plot of "Ted Lasso." Well, only kind of.

Writer-director Taika Waititi — the manic, slightly unhinged mind behind "Thor: Love and Thunder" and "Jojo Rabbit" — offers a sports movie that's not, of course, a sports movie and the opposite of whatever Jason Sudeikis was doing on his TV series.

"Next Goal Wins" — "inspired by true events" — stars Michael Fassbender as a bitter Dutch-American soccer coach assigned to help the struggling American Samoa national team qualify for the 2014 FIFA World Cup. The team is an international laughing stock and still stinging from having been on the wrong side of the worst loss in international soccer history — a 31-0 thrashing by Australia in 2001.

Waititi and co-writer Iain Morris based their movie on a 2014 British documentary of the same name and you can instantly tell why Waititi gravitated toward the story. It has a clash of civilizations, explores overcoming loss and it has a beautiful lesson about embracing those who are different.

In Waititi's hands, it becomes a sloppy, quirky, pop culture-studded frothy comedy that gently apes other underdog sports movies but doesn't offer much but a mildly funny respite from reality. It makes "Bend it like Beckham" seem really deep.

Waititi himself — he couldn't resist stepping into his own film — frames the movie in the first minutes by playing a priest on American Samoa who promises this will not be a tale of woe but "a tale of woah!" (Shakespeare isn't laughing).

Fassbender here is the opposite of Lasso — he's broken inside, angry outside, egotistical and unyielding, a coach fired from his last three teams and given a career lifeline no one else wants. He has no home-spun wisdom to offer, just routine high school bullying. "Something’s not right about that guy," says one islander. "Well," comes the response. "He is white."

The coach will eventually be redeemed by American Samoa itself, by the nobility of its people and the goodness of their souls, with the movie getting dangerously close to worn out movie cliche territory.

The script had an opportunity to really examine the demand of winning at all costs versus the rewards of merely having fun and having a passion for sports but abandons any lessons in a flurry of team-building montages.

This being a Waititi movie, there's a scattershot of pop culture references — "Karate Kid," "Taken," "The Matrix," "Any Given Sunday" and even Frank Sinatra ("You’re riding high in April, shot down in May"). At times, these seem more like the director's idiosyncrasies than plot advancers.

The script also takes a weird sort of glee mocking the islanders, who are portrayed sometimes as playing dress-up. One sits at a desk with a keyboard and a monitor but no computer and another makes siren noises with his mouth in a police car because of faulty equipment.

There are really nice turns by Oscar Kightley, Will Arnett and Elisabeth Moss, but it's Fassbender who must do the bulk of the lifting here. His accent is spotty and he may initially not have been on the top of everyone's list for the part but he sticks the landing, to mix sports metaphors. "Next Goal Wins" isn't a tale of "woe" or "woah!" but "meh."



Lady Gaga, Celine Dion, Aya Nakamura: Set for Olympics Opening Ceremony?

Lady Gaga said she was recording a new album. Tolga Akmen / AFP/File
Lady Gaga said she was recording a new album. Tolga Akmen / AFP/File
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Lady Gaga, Celine Dion, Aya Nakamura: Set for Olympics Opening Ceremony?

Lady Gaga said she was recording a new album. Tolga Akmen / AFP/File
Lady Gaga said she was recording a new album. Tolga Akmen / AFP/File

World-famous stars are in line to perform at Friday's opening ceremony of the Paris Olympics, which will take place along the Seine river.
The exact line-up is a tightly guarded secret, but here are three performers strongly rumored to be appearing:
Lady Gaga
One of the world's biggest-selling artists, pop queen Lady Gaga -- real name Stefani Germanotta -- brings extravagant showmanship and costumes to the stage, along with her infectious electropop beats.
She won an Oscar for "Shallow", a song she co-wrote for the 2018 film remake "A Star is Born".
In that film she sang the classic "La Vie en rose" by French legend Edith Piaf -- whose songs are expected to feature in the Olympics extravaganza.
Lady Gaga was seen arriving at a hotel in the French capital days ahead of the opening bash.
Her anticipated Olympic turn comes during a busy year for the Oscar-winning US songwriter, 38.
Earlier this month she announced she was back in the studio at work on a new album.
She also appears as love-interest Harley Quinn in the new "Joker" movie, screening at the Venice Film Festival that starts in late August.
"Music is one of the most powerful things the world has to offer," she said prior to her electrifying 2017 Super Bowl halftime show performance.
"No matter what race or religion or nationality or sexual orientation or gender that you are, it has the power to unite us."
Celine Dion
Canadian superstar singer Dion is set to return to the spotlight after her fight against a rare illness was laid bare in a recent documentary.
She has been posing for selfies with fans around Paris since the start of the week.
Sources have indicated she may sing Piaf's stirring love anthem "Hymne A l'Amour" at the ceremony.
If she performs it will be the 56-year-old Dion's second time at the Games, after the 1996 Atlanta Olympics.
Last month she vowed she would fight her way back from the debilitating rare neurological condition that has kept her off stage.
Dion first disclosed in December 2022 that she had been diagnosed with Stiff Person Syndrome, an incurable autoimmune disorder.
But she told US network NBC in June: "I'm going to go back onstage, even if I have to crawl. Even if I have to talk with my hands, I will. I will."
She has sold more than 250 million albums during a career spanning decades, and picked up two Grammys for her rendition of "My Heart Will Go On", the hit song from the 1997 epic "Titanic".
Aya Nakamura
Franco-Malian R&B superstar Aya Nakamura, 29, is the most listened to French-speaking singer in the world, with seven billion streams online.
She is known for hits such as "Djadja", which has close to a billion streams on YouTube alone, and "Pookie".
She faced down a wave of abuse from right-wing activists over her mooted Olympics appearance.
The backlash came after media reports suggested she had discussed performing a song by Piaf at a meeting with President Emmanuel Macron.
Neither party confirmed the claim but Macron publicly backed the singer for the Olympics ceremony.
Far-right politicians and conservatives have accused her of "vulgarity" and disrespecting the French language in her lyrics.
Born Aya Danioko in the Malian capital Bamako in 1995 into a family of traditional musicians, she moved with her parents to the Paris suburbs as a child.
She told AFP in an interview in 2020 her music was about "feelings of love in all their aspects".
"I have made my own musical universe and that is what I am most proud of. I make the music I like, even if people try to pigeon-hole me."