Haaland, Ronaldo, Streltsov and the Miracle of Simplicity

 Erling Braut Haaland’s goal for Borussia Dortmund on Saturday – the first scored in the Bundesliga following its resumption – was one of beautiful simplicity. Photograph: Reuters
Erling Braut Haaland’s goal for Borussia Dortmund on Saturday – the first scored in the Bundesliga following its resumption – was one of beautiful simplicity. Photograph: Reuters
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Haaland, Ronaldo, Streltsov and the Miracle of Simplicity

 Erling Braut Haaland’s goal for Borussia Dortmund on Saturday – the first scored in the Bundesliga following its resumption – was one of beautiful simplicity. Photograph: Reuters
Erling Braut Haaland’s goal for Borussia Dortmund on Saturday – the first scored in the Bundesliga following its resumption – was one of beautiful simplicity. Photograph: Reuters

Of course it was Erling Braut Haaland who scored the first Bundesliga goal after the resumption. Who else could it have been? Nobody else in the modern game seems to play with such a disregard for complication. Nobody else seems to treat the basic problem of getting the ball from his foot to the back of the net with the brusque clarity of Alexander contemplating the Gordian Knot. Nobody else seems such an embodiment of tomorrow.

Haaland’s goal against Schalke last Saturday was beautifully simple as he muscled on to a low cross to score with a first-time finish. But that description, though true, underplays the quality of the goal. The timing of the run to remain onside while getting in front of the defender was perfect, while the finish, opening his foot to guide the ball past the Schalke goalkeeper, Markus Schubert, was exquisite, requiring the sort of instinctive understanding of pace and spin and angles that the evolutionary biologist Stephen Jay Gould celebrates in Triumph and Tragedy in Mudville.

The calculations required for great athletic performance, he points out, are (literally) inconceivable: “The required action simply doesn’t grant sufficient time for the sequential processing of conscious decisions.”

Yet Haaland’s most obvious asset is his physique. Occasionally players come along who seem to have been built on a different scale. In 1954 word began to spread about a brilliant 16-year-old forward at Torpedo Moscow, Eduard Streltsov. Because of the weather, the Soviet season always began in the south so Torpedo’s first game in the capital was their sixth of the campaign, away against Lokomotiv. Not much was happening when Streltsov turned, pushed the ball into space, barged through two defenders, whipped past another and then smashed his shot into the net. It was, as his biographer, Alexander Nilin, wrote, “a miracle of simplicity”. Streltsov’s genius was confirmed.

What followed is one of the great mysteries of Soviet sport. Streltsov became a star, an awkward status to have in Nikita Khrushchev’s USSR. Then, 62 years ago on Monday, he was accused of raping a woman at a party on the last night of the national team’s pre-World Cup training camp at Tarasovka, just outside Moscow. He was convicted and served six years in the gulag.

His case has fascinated fans and historians ever since. Garry Kasparov led a campaign to clear his name, while the researcher Axel Vartanyan has spent much of the past three decades sifting through KGB archives to try to work out what happened, regularly publishing articles about new pieces of information he has found.

The rape and the various conspiracy theories around it understandably dominate contemporary discourse but those four years between his debut and Tarasovka are also revealing, less for what they say about Streltsov than about the way we treat those for whom the game seems to come so easily.

In 1954 football was in the early stages of revolution. A back four and zonal marking were taking root in Brazil. The quietly radical coach Viktor Maslov had left Torpedo the previous season but would return in 1957; the following decade he would pioneer pressing and the 4-4-2 formation at Dynamo Kyiv. Fundamentals of the game that had stood inviolable for a quarter of a century were beginning to be challenged. Then amid all the tactical discussion and the theories, along came a 16-year-old who just knocked the ball into space, swatted aside opponents and thumped the ball past the keeper.

What response could there be to Haaland’s second against Paris Saint-Germain in February but to laugh at its ridiculous simplicity? Or think of Bobby Robson’s reaction to Ronaldo’s goal against Compostela in 1996, clutching his head in disbelief that somebody could make the game look so easy.

Haaland is 19. Ronaldo had just turned 20. Streltsov was 16. Perhaps only the young, unencumbered by the complications and doubts of experience, have the clarity to approach football with such insolence. Because to make the game look so straightforward is problematic. It offends against the lore of the game. If it is that easy, why can’t they do it all the time? But of course it’s not that easy. Haaland, Ronaldo and Streltsov scored those goals not only because they were stronger and quicker than opponents but because the space opened up for them and they had the awareness to identify and seize the opportunity, to know when to push the ball into a gap and at what pace, to know when the forces would align in such a way that defenders could be brushed aside. Sometimes, perhaps, that vision isn’t with them. Sometimes the disposition of players on the pitch isn’t right. But the wider point is that made by Gould: just because they make something look easy doesn’t mean it isn’t genius.

That very ease makes us perhaps undervalue those moments. Between 1954 and 1958, there was criticism of Streltsov for the games in which he seemed to do nothing. Coaches spoke of his hypochondria, the days when he would complain his legs felt heavy and they would almost have to push him out on to the pitch. He moaned about his flat feet and playing in the heat of summer. Expectation and the frustration when he failed to deliver – his own and that of others – sapped at him. Ronaldo, too, struggled to live up to his talent and promise. Exactly what happened before the 1998 World Cup final remains unclear but the wider pattern of him being pushed to the limits of physical endurance was clear.

The temptation is to look on such forwards as though they are heaven-sent heroes, endowed with great gifts to do great things. There is a danger of taking them for granted, as though with that physique there is something inevitable about their brilliance. There is not. The strain – physical, mental and emotional – can still be enormous.

Haaland is a wonderful talent, capable of making football look the most absurdly simple thing, but we shouldn’t be lured into thinking it is simple, that it comes without cost, even for him. We should never let ourselves believe his excellence is routine.

The Guardian Sport



PSG Beats Toulouse 3-0 and Akliouche Double Gives Monaco Home Win over Brest

Lucas Beraldo of PSG celebrates after scoring the 2-0 goal during the French Ligue 1 soccer match between Paris Saint Germain (PSG) and Toulouse FC (TFC), in Paris, France, 22 November 2024. EPA/Mohammed Badra
Lucas Beraldo of PSG celebrates after scoring the 2-0 goal during the French Ligue 1 soccer match between Paris Saint Germain (PSG) and Toulouse FC (TFC), in Paris, France, 22 November 2024. EPA/Mohammed Badra
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PSG Beats Toulouse 3-0 and Akliouche Double Gives Monaco Home Win over Brest

Lucas Beraldo of PSG celebrates after scoring the 2-0 goal during the French Ligue 1 soccer match between Paris Saint Germain (PSG) and Toulouse FC (TFC), in Paris, France, 22 November 2024. EPA/Mohammed Badra
Lucas Beraldo of PSG celebrates after scoring the 2-0 goal during the French Ligue 1 soccer match between Paris Saint Germain (PSG) and Toulouse FC (TFC), in Paris, France, 22 November 2024. EPA/Mohammed Badra

Paris Saint-Germain retained a six-point lead at the top of Ligue 1 after a labored 3-0 home win over Toulouse on Friday.
The defending champion dominated the first half but it took until the 35th minute to open the scoring.
Young Portuguese midfielder João Neves spun to meet a cross from the right and struck a superb half volley from just outside the box.
Lucas Beraldo got a second with six minutes remaining when he pounced on loose ball and fired home, The Associated Press reported.
Vitinha made it 3-0 in stoppage time when he showed fine footwork inside the box to finish off a quick counterattack.
The scoreline was harsh on Toulouse, which came into the game in a more even second half.
Only Vitinha’s last-gasp tackle stopped Zakaria Aboukhlal from equalizing after 69 minutes and then Shavy Babicka blazed over from close range a minute later when he should have hit the target.
The win was a confidence boost for Luis Enrique’s side ahead of next Tuesday’s Champions League encounter at Bayern Munich.
PSG lies in 25th place in the 36-team Champions League table with one win in four matches and outside the playoff spots.
Monaco beats Brest: The win came immediately after second-placed Monaco beaten Brest 3-2 to briefly close the gap at the top to three points.
Brest, which faces Barcelona next week in the Champions League, turned in another inconsistent French league performance and not the sparkling form it has shown in Europe.
Brest has struggled in Ligue 1, where it remains 12th, but shone with three wins from four in its first ever Champions League campaign.
It was behind after just five minutes on Friday when Maghnes Akliouche scored with a superb airborne volley, and 2-0 down after 24 minutes thanks to Aleksandr Golovin.
The Russian striker seized on a poor pass just outside the Brest penalty area and his low shot was perfectly placed to sneak in off the post and give him his first goal in nine league appearances.
On-loan Brighton striker Abdallah Sima used his 1.88-meter frame to outjump the Monaco defense four minutes into the second half and cut the deficit but Akliouche restored Monaco’s two-goal cushion when he brilliantly finished a quick counterattack in stoppage time.
Ludovic Ajorque got a second for Brest in the sixth minute of added time but it was not enough in a second half most notable for the red card shown to Brest coach Éric Roy.