Twenty-one years have passed since the return to peaceful Baghdad, after a forced absence that lasted more than a decade and a half. I remember those moments well, as if they were days ago. A feeling that words cannot describe. It’s like I was reborn...
I returned to Iraq a few days after April 9, 2003, and the fall of the regime. Dreams and hopes of establishing a free, democratic state were only a matter of time. That’s what we thought. The various capabilities and resources existed, and the climates necessary for this were appropriate. A country: This word and what it means summarizes our suffering, and expresses the aspirations of an opposition that worked justly - from abroad - to overthrow an oppressive, dictatorial regime.
Since my return, I did not wish to be in the spotlight. I have chosen to continue doing my personal works and pursue them on my own terms.
In that Baghdadi house, the home of my spiritual father, Dr. Mohammad Makkiya, and the father of my brother and very dear friend Kanaan, was the place of residence, work, meetings, and discussions. In the simple house overlooking the Tigris, visions, programs and projects crystallized, combining the ideas and debates of the opposition from the outside on the one hand, and working to evaluate the experience emerging from within on the other.
I remember well - for example - the letters of His Excellency the late President Jalal Talabani, His Excellency President Iyad Allawi, and President Masoud Barzani, which I have kept until this moment, and their praise of our line, ideas, and projects seeking to create a national identity away from trenches and camps. Our work was for the sake of Iraq and its people, and for the state and its institutions.
Unfortunately, this line was prevented from developing and growing, and the challenges and circumstances that followed the fall contributed to reducing its presence and effectiveness. The national line was the victim of major sectarian conflicts. It did not gain presence or resonance in light of ruling mentalities that brought about a state that did not trust itself and did not inspire confidence in it.
I was faced with difficult choices. What do I do? Should I go back to where I came from and surrender to intertwining local, regional and international circumstances? Or do I search for a new space through which I can anticipate the future?
In the face of these complications, and in the multitude of projects that came after the fall, and the accompanying and successive crises, it was necessary to document the experience that Iraq and the Iraqis endured for more than 35 years. We launched the Memory Project, to understand what happened over those years: social transformations and their effects on individuals’ behaviors, and how they have changed over the days... The fear that dominates souls and its repercussions on the expansion of individual and collective approaches to various issues.
The idea of injustice, oppression, and what happened to people was part or one of the facades of the project. But - in depth - we sought a very deep understanding of Iraqi society, which was one of the most cultured, informed and present societies in our Arab and Islamic world, and had become - within two decades - one of the most backward, closed and fearful.
The outcomes were more likely to be the natural result of mutual behavior between the regime and the people. A regime that does not respect borders and does not give weight to any consideration, and a people that was ruled by fear and controlled by it, after then was tired of bloodshed. Surrendering to reality subjugated the situation, and a lack of confidence towards anything was an inherent characteristic. What made me even more surprised was that the opposition’s behavior abroad did not differ from its counterparts at home, as if the dictatorial regime (and its ideas) had managed to infiltrate our subconscious, so we all became prisoners of the “return of the Baath,” in one way or another.
I sensed this idea in two separate places: among different segments of society, and within the ruling political class. Each dealt with it from its own perspective. We were victims, unfortunately. The victims of this fear and its repercussions. The situation has come to us - and it may continue until this moment - that we are afraid of change, and afraid to be honest with ourselves and accept reconciliation. The memory experience was based on understanding the past, contributing to establishing the future and building an all-inclusive Iraqi national identity...
But did it work? Success here is based on two levels: Individual success and collective success.
Individually, I can say that whoever worked in the institution and went through its experience took the first steps in liberation from fear, abandoning the ruling entrenchments and heading towards the other, on the basis that Iraq belongs to the Iraqis, and not to or particular faction or party.
Collectively, the memory was unable to achieve what it sought from society, and this is due to the nature of society first, and the political class and its culture in the second place. I remember well that during that period, there were (people and entities) who wanted (and worked) for Iraq to remain a prisoner of inflammatory sectarian language and a state closed in on itself, and there were those who preferred the group and took refuge in it. The consensus was to reject the idea and principle of moderation, and its concept, and the convictions revolved around the rupture and its necessity, and the rejection of any communication or talk about it for the sake of the public interest!
I saw this mentality among the political leaders, before assuming national responsibility in 2016. The lack of faith in the state and the predominance of narrow interests and gains led these leaders to create deep parallel mini-states competing with each other.
The foundations of the democratic state we wanted were destroyed in 2003, and this was clearly translated within the security and educational institutions. The result of this was “Mosul 2014” and “Tishreen 2019”.
Have we learned something? I hope so...
But the statements and interviews we followed during this month do not imply so. Some do not want to move towards others or meet them in the middle of the road. Iraq, a nation and a state, its political system and its product, that is, the political process, are governed by dialogue and not by breaking wills, or exploiting institutions to settle scores, in light of everyone’s insistence on practicing restricted democracy, and not democracy in its comprehensive sense.
After 21 years, it is time for us to learn from the past and the experiences of our brothers and neighbors, so that we do not repeat the same mistakes for the sake of our children. The promising future of Iraq - which I always hope for - is based on understanding the past and the movement of history. This requires courageous action from all those concerned, otherwise we will face new “challenges and circumstances,” as these people talk about privately here and there...
